http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/blog/devil_ball_golf/post/Golfer-s-swing-sparks-25-acre-California-blaze?urn=golf-266447&post_comment=1&success=1 Can you say FAIL? I feel sorry for him.
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/3/e/1/3e17a1b719bdc9285a756816a27c293e.png[/img] if you don't know what that means (the equation), it means "jerk".
[quote][size="5"][font="Century Gothic"]Unmarried Pregnancy...[/font][/size] [font="Times New Roman"][size="5"]A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, She confides this 'news' to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house;
and on it I wrote: 3.1415926535897932384626433832795 Next day, I folded the paper and took it to school. I then told people that I had pi in my pocket, and they looked concerned for me. I then asked them to guess what kind of pie it was. They replied, "What?". To this, I pulled out the paper and unfolded it and showed them the number on it. They were relieved to see that it was only a joke and that I didn't go crazy, and I laughed.
[img]http://pure-essence.net/stuff/funny/gasPrices.jpg[/img]
A New Priest At His First Mass
i don't know if this joke will hold up, but it sure is funny! my mom sent it to me in the mail and had to google it to share it. it's a religious joke.... [quote] A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.' So next Sunday he took the m
Interesting English From Around The World
[center][font="Century Gothic"][size="7"]Interesting English from Around the World[/size][/font] [quote] [size="4"]In a Bangkok temple:[/size] IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN. [size="4"]Cocktail lounge, Norway:[/size] LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. [size="4"]Doctors office, Rome:[/size] SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. [size="4"]Dry cleaners, Bangkok:[/siz
[quote] [center][font="Arial Black"][size="6"]NINE WORDS WOMEN USE[/size][/font] [/center] [size="5"](1) Fine:[/size] This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. [size="5"](2) Five Minutes: [/size]If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. [size="5"](3
Problems of Deforestation [url="http://img269.imageshack.us/i/deforestedgod.jpg/"][img]http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/3808/deforestedgod.jpg[/img][/url]
A Site Which Is Damn Funny, Shares A Lot Bewakoofi Around The World
Hey I have found a nice site for indians. It's http://www.bewakoof.com The idea behind the site is very nice. I read the posts on the site and it made me laugh for hours and hours. here is what they have to say about the site "Many things happen in life, Sad , Happy, joy, Laugh. Usually we remember sad things for long time but we forget them gradually. Apart from that many moments occurs that makes uslaugh or others. The reason behind such laugher might be so silly, bewakoofi of someo
hi trappers, since things are very boring in the forum the last few weeks. so, let's have some fun trappers. [img]http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/9478/54589814.png[/img] [img]http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/7722/67443356.png[/img] [img]http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/8171/55977136.png[/img] [img]http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/6632/18150384.png[/img] [img]http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/3557/57287963.png[/img] [img]http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/1073/33981361.png[/img]
[center][img]http://i43.tinypic.com/333esso.jpg[/img][/center] [font="Comic Sans MS"][center][/font]HAHAHAHA to all the Jonas haters like ME! [size=3][/center][/size]
I Was A Spammer At Trap17/ Will Be On Knowledgesutra
I was a spammer at Trap17.. I will be at KnowledgeSutra too... LOL. I just has this self realization of about the spamming that I've been doing on my own forums from soo long... soory guys, i never notiiced it.. but now i do and i admit it.. but, sorry again.. its gonna go on. :-) LOL. TATA!
Well, Well, Well ... What Do We Have Here?
[center][img]http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/052009/small_well%20well%20well.jpg[/img][/center] This is hilarious! I just that that I wanted to share it over here!
[quote]A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his ha
World's Most Efficient Firewall.. But ....... !
[quote][font="times new roman new york times serif"][size=3][color="#00007f"] One human cell contains 75MB genetic information. One sperm contains a half of that; that is 37.5MB. One ml of semen contains 100 million sperms. An average ejaculation lasts for 5 sec and contains 2.25 ml semen. This means that the through-put of a man's member is equal to (37.5MB x 100,000,000 x 2.25)/5 = 1,687,500,000,000,000 byte/second 16875 Тerabyte/sec This means that the female egg cell withstan
[quote]This is a thread where people share their favorite [b]clean one liners(doesn't have to be)[/b]. They gotta be short and humorous.[/quote] [center]The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I keep reading 'The Lord of the Rings' over and over. I guess it's just force of hobbit. The raisin wined about how he couldn't achieve grapeness. My boyfri
I got kicked out of the K.F.C the other night and got banned from ever going there again. All i said was "Can i have a leg an a wing"
Tech That Will Revolutionize The Way We Move
So... here I was, on my computer in Mesopotamia, when I hear the familiar sound of stone being chiseled. I walk outside and see my neighbor working on this thing he calls a 'wheel.' He says you can attach four or more together and put a basket on top so you can push your goods instead of carrying them!
Assuming you know girls = evil and the other formulas Guys = girls × time × money Guys = girls x money² Guys = money^4 > girls = money² Guys = (vEvil)^4 Guys = Evil Guys evil > Girls evil Now divide both sides by evil Guys > Girls - Guys more than girls? lol
[b]How the Dinosaurs died!!![/b]Theories How The Dinosaurs Got ExtinctThere was God and he created the Dinosaurs and plants 65 years ago. And one day the Dinosaurs had a spelling contest and the smartest dinosaur won and earned a stomach of stea 20 days later God came up to the dinosaur and shouted "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CREATIONS!" The Dinosaur looked at him liked his lips and ate him whloe. Now with God's power the Dinosaur became Abreham Linkem and lived for thousands of years. Afte
ok...tell this to your significant other when you are all alone and it is really intimate just de mess around with there heads a bit. babby...you are the light of my day, the thing that i get up for, the one thing that makes me get up every morning and want to shout out....i love my life, you are the only reason that i am alive ...ok...enough about my dog..lets talk about you now... ..... tell me what you think about it!!
Marc Faber’s comment earlier this year on the US economy and the US govt rebate checks: ”The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it
Some Intelligent Doubts About Humans
[quote][size=5]1.[/size] When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought) [size=5]2.[/size] If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking) [size=5]3.[/size] Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows) [size=5]4.[/size] Can you cry under water? (let me try) [size=5]5.[/size] Why do people say, "you've been working like adog"
[quote]A man arrives at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" "Methodist," the man says. St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to Room 24, but be [i]very quiet[/i] as you pass Room 8." Another man arrives at the gates of Heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to Room 18, but be [i]very quiet[/i] as you pass Room 8." A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" "Jewish." "Go to Room 11, b
The Top Nicest Ways To Tell A Person That They're Ugly
Have you ever seen a person that was so ugly that you'd kill yourself if you were them? Ok, I'm not talking about how people look different, and making fun of them. No, I'm talking about that [i][b]SPECIAL UGLY[/b][/i]. They're so ugly that they got boogers smeared on they're face and they wear excessive mascara ugly. You wanna tell them that they're ugly, right? But on the other hand, you don't want to hurt their feelings. Well, I happen to be an expert on these thin
A Real Good For You My Friends.
[b]A real good joke for you all my friends:-[/b] It was their 57th Wedding Anniversary and during the celebration party, John was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us, John, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" John responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness etc. an
Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why. A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a v
[size=4]A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry. No pets allowed." The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see." The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game. The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when th
What time is it when an elephant sits on a chair? (scroll down for answer) Half past 2
Computer Eden In the beginning God created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put floppy disks and hard disks
Five Most Ridiculous Lies You Were Taught In School
**WARNING: SOME FOUL LANGUAGE USED** Hahaha... this is freakin' hilarious... XD [url="http://www.cracked.com/article_16101_5-most-ridiculous-lies-you-were-taught-in-history-class.html"]http://www.cracked.com/article_16101_5-mos...tory-class.html[/url]
Sardarji's Mom's Letter - Funny Joke
Funny Mail I got.. :-) [quote][size=6]Sardarji's Mom's Letter [/size] [b] Dear banta Vahe Guru ![/b] I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here to
Joke: Teacher And The Smart Boy
[quote][center][font="Arial"][size=5]A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked, "Boy. What is your problem?" [/size][/font] [font="Arial"][size=5]Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!" [/size][/font] [font="Arial"][size=5]Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While th
Check this out...
Ok so basically smarterchild is an aim bot... i know most of everybody who has an AIM knows this and probably are wondering where this is going, but me and my friend are trying to see who can come up with the funniest quotes from his convos. I've got quite a collection: [quote]6:41:45 PM alex7h3pr0gr4m3r: show me an ad 6:41:45 PM smarterchild: Sorry, I don't have ads. 6:41:47 PM alex7h3pr0gr4m3r: yes you do 6:41:48 PM smarterchild: I do not! 6:41:51 PM alex7h3pr0gr4m3r: yes you do
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room. So he decided to send an E-MAIL to his wife. However he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address and without realising his error, he sent the message. Meanwhile, Somewhere a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, Expecting message from her relatives and friends.; After reading the first message she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on
a boy friend and girl friend were at the prom and they decited to go to the guys house for the aftermath but the boyfriend had a younger brother that slept with him on a bunk bed. so the girls like "if we're going to do this here's how it'll work when ever i yell tomato i means i want more and when i yell lettus it means new position" so they start "lettus" "tomato" "tomato" "lettus" "lettus" "lettus" &quo
The Story Of The Student Who Failed Writing Class
One of the students failed in writing class, it is unusual for a student to fail in an easy class like writing. When the teacher was asked about the raison he failed in the class he replied: honestly felows, the student cannot focus, every time he is given a topic to write about, he goes off topic. They then asked him to give them example of topics he wrote about. So the teacher said: Here is an example, write about the spring season… Spring is the most beautiful season in the year, during
Just A Good Joke To Wake Up With
[color="#FF0000"][u][b][center]The English And Scotish Dream[/center][/b][/u][/color] [center]An english man and a scotish man are driving down a winding road in the dark. Suddenly they crash, but by a miracle non of them are hurt but their cars are written off. They both get out their cars, walk to each other and say "Listen, lets put all this behind us, lets live in peace, the english and scotish" After this, the scotish man goes to his car boot and pulls out a 12 year old bottle of
I was reading a book the other day and read a word used in this joke, very slowly... JOKE #1 - PS: It may sound si,ilar to one you have heard before... There are two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, and they inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they canbreed their own stock. They only have $600 left. Up
The Five Toughest Questions Women Ask
[b]The five toughest questions women ask - and their answers According to Sassy magazine, the five questions are:[/b] 1. "What are you thinking?" 2. "Do you love me?" 3. "Do I look fat?" 4. "Do you think she is prettier than me?" 5. "What would you do if I died?" What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say di
First Date My next door neighbors' son was going on his first date. My neighbor drove his son to the miniature golf complex where he was meeting his date and a group of friends. Only after 45 minutes did he get a phone call saying the date was over. After picking his son up he waited a while before asking how the date went. When he asked, his son said, "Dad, I don't think I understand girls, they talk too much, they cost a lot of money and they don't taste so good."
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died. The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the serv
A Few Sayings Me And A Friend Proved Innacurate
So in our hours of boredom me and a friend have disproven a few sayings and here they are: 1. Money cant buy you happiness -- Yes it can, buy some anti-depressants and other general "happy pills" Easy peasy. 2. What happens when the unstoppable bullets hits the impenetrable armour? -- Simple, the armour and bullet simply move at the same speed, the armour isnt damage and the bullet isnt stopped 3. BullS**t -- Well as bulls do ... defecate Bulls**t is essentially true. And thats
[b]You Might Meet in the Mens Rest Room..[/b] 1. Excitable - Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. 2. Sociable - Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. 3. Crosseyed - Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed. 4. Timid - Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later. 5. Indifferent - All urinals being used, pisses in sink. 6. Clever - No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. 7. Worried - Not sur
You Know Your Having A Bad Day When...
[b]You know your having a bad day when...[/b] You lose the piece of paper where you had your passwords written. You remember that you accidently threw out the piece of paper with all your passwords on it, and you have to rummage through 5 feet of garbage to look for it. After looking through the garbage for an hour, you realize that you have a text file of your passwords saved to disk. You forget to turn the computer off before you start messing around with the inside of it. Your air co
It's just a joke: [url="http://pejakm.googlepages.com/windows.swf"]http://pejakm.googlepages.com/windows.swf[/url]
[b]Customer:[/b] "I want to download the Internet. Do I need a bigger hard disk?" [url="http://www.imagefilez.com/out.php/i123152_downloadwww.gif"]Download the Internet here[/url]
The Roaming Gnom... Umm... Boohbah
Boohbah are these weird things on a Teletubbies like TV show, and they really freak my sister-in-law out. I mean, who wouldn't be freaked out by some blobby, knobbly thingy. So of course my husband has to give one to her for her birthday. And now it just goes back and forth between them, each one trying to hide it in a suitcase or closet or whatever they can find and make sure that the other has it longer. Anyways, we were all in New Orleans for a wedding and my sis-in-law decides to hide it
I am not sure if this is the correct forum as I couldn't find one with jokes and humor. [url="http://pastebin.ca/494623"]http://pastebin.ca/494623[/url]
Microsoft has relaesed a Linux Distro in Late 2003, named Micorosoft Linux, [url="http://www.mslinux.org/"]http://www.mslinux.org/[/url] This is what the site claims, [quote]Microsoft Linux provides all the power of the Linux Operating System with the ease of use you've come to expect from Microsoft Products. Microsoft Linux brings a new level of productivity to Linux, without sacrificing flexibility, performance, and control. In addition to features like My Home Directory and My Configur
[quote][b][u]The Universal Grade Change Form[/u][/b] To: Professor _______________ From: ____________________ I think my grade in your course, ___, should be changed from ___ to ___ for the following reasons: __1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. __2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. __3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into: __Medical School __Graduate School __Den
One day, a woman was having an affair. Her son was watching for the cracks in the closet door. One day, the boy's father came home a little early. The woman shoved the affairee in the closet, and did not notice the boy. "It sure is dark in here." Whispered the boy. "Yep." replied the man. "I have a baseball bat." "That's nice." "I'll sell it to you." "No thanks." "My dad's out there." "Okay how much?"
These are actual questions send to an Australian Tourism website, send by potential visitors of the country. The answers are made by the website officials, who have a good sense of humour. Q: how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure
Here is where everybody can Post all funny stories or things that have ever happened to them or their friends, or anything they've read or heard about or anything like that. It will be funny and entertaining.... we could all use a bit of this kind of amusement so please post all funny stories that have ever happened to you!
Man Lies For A Good And Honorable Reason & For The Benefit Of Others
[font="Tahoma"][size=5][color="#696969"]a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others[/color][/size][/font] [indent][quote]If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it! "One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter
[img]http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m8/kansasfan88/Misc/Etc/d.gif[/img] ♥
[quote] [font="Century Gothic"][size=5]Don't take a man shopping[/size][/font] [font="Century Gothic"][size=2]Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was recently sent by a leading super market's Head Office to a customer in Oxford . Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the T3$co Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family fro
Nice little story and all true. ------------------------------ For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, Gen
Help me count... please.... how many people are here in this picture? [img]http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/7963/1213os8.gif[/img]
[size=5][color="#FF0000"]BE MY VALENTINE! [b]Just Say YES[/b]... [/color][/size] [img]http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/5162/bemyvalentinevs7.jpg[/img] ---- heheheü freaky valentine!
[size=5][b]Eat My Nose For...[/b][/size] [test] [b][size=7]EQUALS FOUR. [/size][/b] (8 - 4 = 4) [/test] heheheü gross? somebody sent it via SMS to me, thought i'd gross you out as well. LOL
Hey, Welcome to the thread were I will prove that Girls are EVIL!! Very Imporant NOTE: I do NOT hate neither am I against girls. This is just meant as a joke. I actually adore women, they are the most beautyful beings on the planet, and they must be worshipped Well anyway, let's get to subject! There is a mathematical proof that girls really are evil, I'll be happy to show it to you! Here I go: $$$$$$$$$$$$
[url="http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/"]http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/[/url] I did 7 / 10.
First-year Students At Medical School Were Receiving Their First
[center][size=6]Students having the first anatomy Lesson[/size] [/center] [quote]First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body. "
[b][color="red"]Merry Christmas,[/color][color="green"] Happy Hanukkah[/color][/b] In Light of recent media attention, I'm posting the following: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or the secular practices of your choice, with
President Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name. “Stanley,” responds the little boy. “And what is your question, Stanley?” “I have four questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriag
[quote][size=6] Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is posted by an I
[center][size=6] How I was born?[/size] [/center] [i][b][font="Times"][size=3][quote]Son asks his dad, "Daddy, how was I born?" His dad sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!" "Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As so
[b][u]Canadian Confidence[/u][/b] President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang. "Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!" Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?&
[quote]The technology behind Google's great results As a Google user, you're familiar with the speed and accuracy of a Google search. How exactly does Google manage to find the right results for every query as quickly as it does? The heart of Google's search technology is PigeonRank™, a system for ranking web pages developed by Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin at Stanford University.[/quote] This is a joke! [note=electriic ink] Article copied from: [url="http
I LIKE MONKEYS I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing
Why Geeks And Nerds Are Worth It...
In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys. 1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never
This Land Is My Land As Sung By Bush And Kerry
A classmate of mine showed this to us and we were rolling because of how funny it was so here is the link and just the sing along. [url="http://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokebox/jibjab/id/42821/jokeid/30966"]http://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokebox/jibj...21/jokeid/30966[/url]
Some Members may not appreciate this article, so I have enclosed it in a "click to open/hide" tag. A 'mature' sense of humour is required for this one. [hide=option1] If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD! [b][u]Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.[/u][/b] Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my
Nasa Chief Under Fire For Personal Shuttle Use
lol [quote] CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—NASA Administrator Michael Griffin has yet to respond to recent allegations that he used NASA space shuttles on as many as one dozen unauthorized outings to such destinations as New York City, the French Riviera, and his vacation home near Ketchum, ID. A report issued Monday by NASA's Oversight Commission indicates a cumulative 1.8 million miles unaccounted for on the Atlantic, Discovery, and Endeavor shuttles. In addition, shuttle pilot James Kelly reported n
Sign The The Trap17 Ban Petition
[url="http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?trapban"]http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?trapban[/url] we need as many signatures as possible these people are menace to society. Editors not-we are not actually banning these people, this is why this topic is under the joke section
I think microsofts main aim is to take over the world and bill gates is a machine and pinky and brain are controlling him anyway try [url="http://www.neopets.com/"]neopets[/url] its a good game for world domination [note=serverph]referral link removed. moved from "Security Issues & Exploits" to "Jokes". [quote name='from NEOPETS']Referral Scams: Clicking on a referral link will not get you a million neopoints or rare items. It's a trick to get you to refer the sca
I think this has great potential as yet unexplored: You MIGHT be a HACKER if: You have more computers up on blocks than you do cars. You lost the sides to your computer case and the cat has claimed one as it's home... Your kid says he needs a computer, you rummage through the closet and make one from parts found there...
Plenoptic Vs. Albus, Who Would Be A Better Mod?
After talking to these two for a while, I began to wonder which one would make for a better moderator. This is just a curiousity poll and the winner will not become a mod. So, which do you choose?
Just found this a few days ago.. [quote]We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POO is inevitable. For those who hate pooing at work, the following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. CROP DUSTING When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but does
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but na
Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left. The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched
Is Saint Michael As Evil As He Says He Is?
The purpose of this post is to share SM "Evil" stories with all of us. If he has been "evil" towards you or if you witnessed an "evil" act directed towards others, please take a minute and share it with all of us. Thanks for sharing.
[quote]Types of computer viruses Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton
1) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" * That's Direct Marketing. 2) You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him." * That's Advertising. 3) You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me.&qu
Source: off a email, and thought I may share this. A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system... • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. • BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. • Close your eyes and press escape three times. • File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) • Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. • Enter any 11-dig
[quote]Date: Apr 28, 2006 9:38 AM Subject: Fw: Headlines From 2029 To: Undisclosed-Recipient Headlines from the year 2029! Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be importe
TAE A FERT This poem is appropriate for reading to an audience shortly after they have eaten the haggis - you will need an audience with a sense of humour! Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie Just as ye sit doon among yer kin There sterts to stir an enormous wind. The neeps and tatties and mushy peas Stert workin like a gentle breeze But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face Will have ye blawin’ all ower the place. Nae matter whit the hell ye dae A’bodys
I also got these in an e-mail and thought i would share them [quote]THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005: CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER [Imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [ That'll stop 'em. ] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after D
Well, my "Grandma" e-mailed this to me today and i thought it was rather funny, so i am going to share it with everyone here i suppose [quote]A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one. A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarra
The Real Reason We Have The Internet
I stumbled upon this while being bored and what not and this documentary tells us the real reason we have the internet. [url="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4446981554735098778&q=porn"]The Real reason we have the internet[/url] btw hahahahaha
You Know Your Obsessed With Forums
You say l33t in public you walk up to a store Manager to sign up for your first job and say " do i get mod Privillages with this? say omg when your friends see you at work, in a costume. not Oh my god... omg You go to an old Roman Forum in Italy and say " Wheres the Registration zone?" when you claim your best friend "hacked" because you seemigly lost your posts Kick somone out of a store for stealing and say BANNED!!! Consider the Video Games "Gam
I got this in an e-mail a few minutes ago and i still cant stop laughing..i find it funny but im sure others may not...lol [quote]The Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped in the desert for the night. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger
Fbi's New Way Of Keeping Eyes On The Terrorists
The FBI (Federal bereu Of Investigation) has immediatly issued somthing new that will track everyones movements ont he internet and i mean everything!! Click [url="http://users.chartertn.net/tonytemplin/FBI_eyes/"]HERE[/url] To see what i mean! They will always have eyes on you while your on the itnernet This is just a joke of course..lmao
It's A Dog's Life After All...!
A real nice one..... [quote] A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth. He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well."The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausa
[quote][b]When you have an "I hate my job day", try this.[/b] On your way home from work, stop by your local pharmacy and visit the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be sure that you purchase this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, close the shades and disconnect the phone so that you will not be disturbed. Change into some comfortable clothing, have a glass of wine, sit in your favorite chair and open the package and remove
Anyone know any? These things are really hilarious When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. LOL!
[quote][b]Dear Tech Support:[/b] Last Year i upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of valueable space and resources. The new program also seems to need more and better system specs every month. Wife 1.0 installed it self into all other programs and now moniters all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and Racing 3.6 are automatically blocked
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