http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/blog/devil_ball_golf/post/Golfer-s-swing-sparks-25-acre-California-blaze?urn=golf-266447&post_comment=1&success=1 Can you say FAIL? I feel sorry for him.
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/3/e/1/3e17a1b719bdc9285a756816a27c293e.png[/img] if you don't know what that means (the equation), it means "jerk".
[quote][size="5"][font="Century Gothic"]Unmarried Pregnancy...[/font][/size] [font="Times New Roman"][size="5"]A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, She confides this 'news' to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house;
and on it I wrote: 3.1415926535897932384626433832795 Next day, I folded the paper and took it to school. I then told people that I had pi in my pocket, and they looked concerned for me. I then asked them to guess what kind of pie it was. They replied, "What?". To this, I pulled out the paper and unfolded it and showed them the number on it. They were relieved to see that it was only a joke and that I didn't go crazy, and I laughed.
[img]http://pure-essence.net/stuff/funny/gasPrices.jpg[/img]
[center][img]http://i43.tinypic.com/333esso.jpg[/img][/center] [font="Comic Sans MS"][center][/font]HAHAHAHA to all the Jonas haters like ME! [size=3][/center][/size]
These are actual directions found on certain products around the world! 1. Directions found on a bag of frito corn chips. "You could be a winner!!! No purchase neccessary!!! Details inside!" you think to your self (Shoplifters special) 2. On Tesco's Tiramisu Desert (directions on bottom) "Do not turn upsode down" (Too late) 3. On Marks & Spncers Bread Pudding. "Product will be hot after heating" (Just
A New Priest At His First Mass
i don't know if this joke will hold up, but it sure is funny! my mom sent it to me in the mail and had to google it to share it. it's a religious joke.... [quote] A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.' So next Sunday he took the m
35 Ways to Annoy People Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper. in the memo field of all your checks, write, "for sensual massage." Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking with others. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions, "to keep them tuned up." Repl
[quote] [center][font="Arial Black"][size="6"]NINE WORDS WOMEN USE[/size][/font] [/center] [size="5"](1) Fine:[/size] This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. [size="5"](2) Five Minutes: [/size]If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. [size="5"](3
Interesting English From Around The World
[center][font="Century Gothic"][size="7"]Interesting English from Around the World[/size][/font] [quote] [size="4"]In a Bangkok temple:[/size] IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN. [size="4"]Cocktail lounge, Norway:[/size] LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. [size="4"]Doctors office, Rome:[/size] SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. [size="4"]Dry cleaners, Bangkok:[/siz
Problems of Deforestation [url="http://img269.imageshack.us/i/deforestedgod.jpg/"][img]http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/3808/deforestedgod.jpg[/img][/url]
A Site Which Is Damn Funny, Shares A Lot Bewakoofi Around The World
Hey I have found a nice site for indians. It's http://www.bewakoof.com The idea behind the site is very nice. I read the posts on the site and it made me laugh for hours and hours. here is what they have to say about the site "Many things happen in life, Sad , Happy, joy, Laugh. Usually we remember sad things for long time but we forget them gradually. Apart from that many moments occurs that makes uslaugh or others. The reason behind such laugher might be so silly, bewakoofi of someo
hi trappers, since things are very boring in the forum the last few weeks. so, let's have some fun trappers. [img]http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/9478/54589814.png[/img] [img]http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/7722/67443356.png[/img] [img]http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/8171/55977136.png[/img] [img]http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/6632/18150384.png[/img] [img]http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/3557/57287963.png[/img] [img]http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/1073/33981361.png[/img]
[quote]This is a thread where people share their favorite [b]clean one liners(doesn't have to be)[/b]. They gotta be short and humorous.[/quote] [center]The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I keep reading 'The Lord of the Rings' over and over. I guess it's just force of hobbit. The raisin wined about how he couldn't achieve grapeness. My boyfri
I Was A Spammer At Trap17/ Will Be On Knowledgesutra
I was a spammer at Trap17.. I will be at KnowledgeSutra too... LOL. I just has this self realization of about the spamming that I've been doing on my own forums from soo long... soory guys, i never notiiced it.. but now i do and i admit it.. but, sorry again.. its gonna go on. :-) LOL. TATA!
Well, Well, Well ... What Do We Have Here?
[center][img]http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/052009/small_well%20well%20well.jpg[/img][/center] This is hilarious! I just that that I wanted to share it over here!
Here's Some Jokes To Make You Laugh A Little.
[note=googlue]Moved over to Jokes section from Creativity forum.[/note] hey here's a couple of jokes for you. you could post some jokes too just for fun.. Joke #1 A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartm
[quote]A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his ha
World's Most Efficient Firewall.. But ....... !
[quote][font="times new roman new york times serif"][size=3][color="#00007f"] One human cell contains 75MB genetic information. One sperm contains a half of that; that is 37.5MB. One ml of semen contains 100 million sperms. An average ejaculation lasts for 5 sec and contains 2.25 ml semen. This means that the through-put of a man's member is equal to (37.5MB x 100,000,000 x 2.25)/5 = 1,687,500,000,000,000 byte/second 16875 Тerabyte/sec This means that the female egg cell withstan
Anyone watch anime? I do, lol, my favorite anime would have to be...., well, heres a small list 1. Serial Experiments Lain 2. Love hina 3. Trigun 4. GTO 5. Tenchi Muyo (all of the series) I LOVE !!!WASHU!!! 6. Outlaw Star 7. .Hack//Sign 8. Dual 9. Prinsess Monanoke (i cant spell it, and its a movie) 10. Spirited Away (movie)
The Funniest Websites On The Net
I Am Going To Start Of This Topic By Suggesting miniclip.com (Games Site)
Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you! Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you. Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama. Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower. Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks. Yo mama's
<< removed >> << removed >> A blonds driving down the motorway and her husbandrings her up. He tells her that he's been listening to the radio and that there's a maniac driving down the wrong side of the motorway. She replies " No there's not, there hundreds driving down the wrong way (in case you dont get it: she's the one driving down the wrongside of the motorway) [note=BuffaloHELP]Keep the jokes PG rated.[/note]
These are a few Ya mama jokes I heard when I was a kid. Ya mama's so poor, she has to use a fork with cereal to save on milk:P Ya mama's so poor, when I saw her kicking a can, I asked her what she was doing and she said she was moving. Ya mama's so poor, when I stepped on a cigarrete on the ground, she said why did you get rid of my heat. blah, that's all i can think of for now,. I'll write more when I think of them
Just A Good Joke To Wake Up With
[color="#FF0000"][u][b][center]The English And Scotish Dream[/center][/b][/u][/color] [center]An english man and a scotish man are driving down a winding road in the dark. Suddenly they crash, but by a miracle non of them are hurt but their cars are written off. They both get out their cars, walk to each other and say "Listen, lets put all this behind us, lets live in peace, the english and scotish" After this, the scotish man goes to his car boot and pulls out a 12 year old bottle of
Where can i download Ophra on the net?
I found this list of a bunch of cars (such as Honda, Audi, and BMW) the other day. I especially love Honda's acronym. [quote][b]ACURA[/b] Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile Asia’s Curse Upon Rural America [b]AMC[/b] All Makes Combined A Major Cost A Mutated Car A Morons Car Another Major Catastrophe [b]AUDI[/b] Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Automobile Under Demonic Influence Another Ugly Deutsche Invention Always Undermining Deutsche Intell
I got kicked out of the K.F.C the other night and got banned from ever going there again. All i said was "Can i have a leg an a wing"
Tech That Will Revolutionize The Way We Move
So... here I was, on my computer in Mesopotamia, when I hear the familiar sound of stone being chiseled. I walk outside and see my neighbor working on this thing he calls a 'wheel.' He says you can attach four or more together and put a basket on top so you can push your goods instead of carrying them!
The Top Nicest Ways To Tell A Person That They're Ugly
Have you ever seen a person that was so ugly that you'd kill yourself if you were them? Ok, I'm not talking about how people look different, and making fun of them. No, I'm talking about that [i][b]SPECIAL UGLY[/b][/i]. They're so ugly that they got boogers smeared on they're face and they wear excessive mascara ugly. You wanna tell them that they're ugly, right? But on the other hand, you don't want to hurt their feelings. Well, I happen to be an expert on these thin
come on,reading the tongue twister below at your fastest speed. Now,time... "i can can a small can in a big can but i can not can a big can in a small can if you can a big can in a small can you can can what i can not can" tongue twister is a very interesting format of language.can you give some good tongue twister to practise?
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corp
Alabama: 1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California: 1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water. Connecticut: 1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. 2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands. Florida: 1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. 2. A special law
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd loo
Hey, Welcome to the thread were I will prove that Girls are EVIL!! Very Imporant NOTE: I do NOT hate neither am I against girls. This is just meant as a joke. I actually adore women, they are the most beautyful beings on the planet, and they must be worshipped Well anyway, let's get to subject! There is a mathematical proof that girls really are evil, I'll be happy to show it to you! Here I go: $$$$$$$$$$$$
A Man Was Driving Home Late One Afternoon
A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy figures "what the heck," and gives up. He pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car.
Assuming you know girls = evil and the other formulas Guys = girls × time × money Guys = girls x money˛ Guys = money^4 > girls = money˛ Guys = (vEvil)^4 Guys = Evil Guys evil > Girls evil Now divide both sides by evil Guys > Girls - Guys more than girls? lol
[b]How the Dinosaurs died!!![/b]Theories How The Dinosaurs Got ExtinctThere was God and he created the Dinosaurs and plants 65 years ago. And one day the Dinosaurs had a spelling contest and the smartest dinosaur won and earned a stomach of stea 20 days later God came up to the dinosaur and shouted "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CREATIONS!" The Dinosaur looked at him liked his lips and ate him whloe. Now with God's power the Dinosaur became Abreham Linkem and lived for thousands of years. Afte
ok...tell this to your significant other when you are all alone and it is really intimate just de mess around with there heads a bit. babby...you are the light of my day, the thing that i get up for, the one thing that makes me get up every morning and want to shout out....i love my life, you are the only reason that i am alive ...ok...enough about my dog..lets talk about you now... ..... tell me what you think about it!!
Marc Faber’s comment earlier this year on the US economy and the US govt rebate checks: ”The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it
The 5 Steps To Perfect Relationship
1. It is important to find a woman who helps at home, who cooks fromtime to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It is important to find a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It is important to find a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important to find a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It is very important that these four women don't know each other.
Some Intelligent Doubts About Humans
[quote][size=5]1.[/size] When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought) [size=5]2.[/size] If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking) [size=5]3.[/size] Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows) [size=5]4.[/size] Can you cry under water? (let me try) [size=5]5.[/size] Why do people say, "you've been working like adog"
Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns, I'll drive." do you get it?
[center][size=6] How I was born?[/size] [/center] [i][b][font="Times"][size=3][quote]Son asks his dad, "Daddy, how was I born?" His dad sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!" "Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As so
A man comes up to his neighbour while he is fixing his car. The car is obviously broken, and it's engine sounds like WW2. 1: Your engine is making allot of noise buddy! 2: What?! 1: I said: Your engine is making allot of noise! 2: Whaaaaaaaat?! 1: Your engineeee is making allot of noiseeeeee! 2: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat??!! 1: I SAID: Your engine is making a hell of allot of noise! 2: WHAAAAAAAT???!!! Speak up I can't hear you! My engine is making
A Real Good For You My Friends.
[b]A real good joke for you all my friends:-[/b] It was their 57th Wedding Anniversary and during the celebration party, John was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us, John, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" John responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness etc. an
Nice little story and all true. ------------------------------ For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, Gen
[quote][size=6] Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is posted by an I
[quote]A man arrives at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" "Methodist," the man says. St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to Room 24, but be [i]very quiet[/i] as you pass Room 8." Another man arrives at the gates of Heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to Room 18, but be [i]very quiet[/i] as you pass Room 8." A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" "Jewish." "Go to Room 11, b
Computer Eden In the beginning God created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put floppy disks and hard disks
Bill Gates Died In A Car Accident
He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God . . "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!" Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the
...welll..is it gonna happen , iam sure it will Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..." Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order." Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?" Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610." Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a
Five Most Ridiculous Lies You Were Taught In School
**WARNING: SOME FOUL LANGUAGE USED** Hahaha... this is freakin' hilarious... XD [url="http://www.cracked.com/article_16101_5-most-ridiculous-lies-you-were-taught-in-history-class.html"]http://www.cracked.com/article_16101_5-mos...tory-class.html[/url]
Once a girl is quite fantasized about "69". She has a regular boyfriend they have never done it before. One day she invites her boyfriend to her apartment for romantic dinner. After heavy dinner, she tells him that she wants to do "69". But the Boyfriend doesn't have any idea about what is 69. Girlfriend gets upset but thinks that she can teach him how to do 69. she asks him to lay down...and she then lays on top of him in reverse direction so as i
Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why. A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a v
[b][i]If you ever get lost in india and want to find out where you are, this is the best way of doing just that. [/b][/i] [b]scenario 1[/b] two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who s right - you are in kolkata. [b]scenario 2[/b] two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on - that s mumbai. [b]scenario 3[/b] two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace. the first two get toget
one mother said to her boy buy for my 4 coka colas the boy is now in the shop he sees regulaer calas at 5$ and super colas at 1$ his mother gived him 24$ he got an idia in his mind: "i buy 4 regular colas for my mother and 4 super for me and my mother wont suspect me" he bougt 4 and 4 in the way he opened the forst super cola and drunk it sudenly he starten to say:"lalalalalala..." in the way he opened the twoned super cola and drunk it now he says:"lala a
[size=4]A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry. No pets allowed." The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see." The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game. The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when th
What time is it when an elephant sits on a chair? (scroll down for answer) Half past 2
Joke: Teacher And The Smart Boy
[quote][center][font="Arial"][size=5]A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked, "Boy. What is your problem?" [/size][/font] [font="Arial"][size=5]Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!" [/size][/font] [font="Arial"][size=5]Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While th
See! This Is The Power Of Your Mind
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig h
You Know Your Having A Bad Day When...
[b]You know your having a bad day when...[/b] You lose the piece of paper where you had your passwords written. You remember that you accidently threw out the piece of paper with all your passwords on it, and you have to rummage through 5 feet of garbage to look for it. After looking through the garbage for an hour, you realize that you have a text file of your passwords saved to disk. You forget to turn the computer off before you start messing around with the inside of it. Your air co
Sardarji's Mom's Letter - Funny Joke
Funny Mail I got.. :-) [quote][size=6]Sardarji's Mom's Letter [/size] [b] Dear banta Vahe Guru ![/b] I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here to
Anyone know any? These things are really hilarious When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. LOL!
Check this out...
Ok so basically smarterchild is an aim bot... i know most of everybody who has an AIM knows this and probably are wondering where this is going, but me and my friend are trying to see who can come up with the funniest quotes from his convos. I've got quite a collection: [quote]6:41:45 PM alex7h3pr0gr4m3r: show me an ad 6:41:45 PM smarterchild: Sorry, I don't have ads. 6:41:47 PM alex7h3pr0gr4m3r: yes you do 6:41:48 PM smarterchild: I do not! 6:41:51 PM alex7h3pr0gr4m3r: yes you do
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room. So he decided to send an E-MAIL to his wife. However he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address and without realising his error, he sent the message. Meanwhile, Somewhere a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, Expecting message from her relatives and friends.; After reading the first message she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on
a boy friend and girl friend were at the prom and they decited to go to the guys house for the aftermath but the boyfriend had a younger brother that slept with him on a bunk bed. so the girls like "if we're going to do this here's how it'll work when ever i yell tomato i means i want more and when i yell lettus it means new position" so they start "lettus" "tomato" "tomato" "lettus" "lettus" "lettus" &quo
The Story Of The Student Who Failed Writing Class
One of the students failed in writing class, it is unusual for a student to fail in an easy class like writing. When the teacher was asked about the raison he failed in the class he replied: honestly felows, the student cannot focus, every time he is given a topic to write about, he goes off topic. They then asked him to give them example of topics he wrote about. So the teacher said: Here is an example, write about the spring season… Spring is the most beautiful season in the year, during
I was reading a book the other day and read a word used in this joke, very slowly... JOKE #1 - PS: It may sound si,ilar to one you have heard before... There are two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, and they inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they canbreed their own stock. They only have $600 left. Up
Facts About Mumbai Engineering College Girls
Facts about Engg. Gals !!!!! > > 1. What is the beautiful girl in engg. called? > A Visitor. > > 2. What happens when all the engg. girls go on a > trip to the moon ? > Average beauty on the earth increases and that on > the moon decreases. > > 3. What happens when hundred new girls join an engg > college ? > Average beauty in the college further decreases. > > 4. What happens when two engg. girls meet at fashion > show? >
The Five Toughest Questions Women Ask
[b]The five toughest questions women ask - and their answers According to Sassy magazine, the five questions are:[/b] 1. "What are you thinking?" 2. "Do you love me?" 3. "Do I look fat?" 4. "Do you think she is prettier than me?" 5. "What would you do if I died?" What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say di
First Date My next door neighbors' son was going on his first date. My neighbor drove his son to the miniature golf complex where he was meeting his date and a group of friends. Only after 45 minutes did he get a phone call saying the date was over. After picking his son up he waited a while before asking how the date went. When he asked, his son said, "Dad, I don't think I understand girls, they talk too much, they cost a lot of money and they don't taste so good."
Read the whole thing. This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter (This is the State's Letter!) [quote]SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent un
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died. The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the serv
[b]You Might Meet in the Mens Rest Room..[/b] 1. Excitable - Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. 2. Sociable - Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. 3. Crosseyed - Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed. 4. Timid - Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later. 5. Indifferent - All urinals being used, pisses in sink. 6. Clever - No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. 7. Worried - Not sur
A Few Sayings Me And A Friend Proved Innacurate
So in our hours of boredom me and a friend have disproven a few sayings and here they are: 1. Money cant buy you happiness -- Yes it can, buy some anti-depressants and other general "happy pills" Easy peasy. 2. What happens when the unstoppable bullets hits the impenetrable armour? -- Simple, the armour and bullet simply move at the same speed, the armour isnt damage and the bullet isnt stopped 3. BullS**t -- Well as bulls do ... defecate Bulls**t is essentially true. And thats
Why Geeks And Nerds Are Worth It...
In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys. 1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never
[b]Customer:[/b] "I want to download the Internet. Do I need a bigger hard disk?" [url="http://www.imagefilez.com/out.php/i123152_downloadwww.gif"]Download the Internet here[/url]
One day, a woman was having an affair. Her son was watching for the cracks in the closet door. One day, the boy's father came home a little early. The woman shoved the affairee in the closet, and did not notice the boy. "It sure is dark in here." Whispered the boy. "Yep." replied the man. "I have a baseball bat." "That's nice." "I'll sell it to you." "No thanks." "My dad's out there." "Okay how much?"
Man Lies For A Good And Honorable Reason & For The Benefit Of Others
[font="Tahoma"][size=5][color="#696969"]a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others[/color][/size][/font] [indent][quote]If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it! "One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter
It's just a joke: [url="http://pejakm.googlepages.com/windows.swf"]http://pejakm.googlepages.com/windows.swf[/url]
The Roaming Gnom... Umm... Boohbah
Boohbah are these weird things on a Teletubbies like TV show, and they really freak my sister-in-law out. I mean, who wouldn't be freaked out by some blobby, knobbly thingy. So of course my husband has to give one to her for her birthday. And now it just goes back and forth between them, each one trying to hide it in a suitcase or closet or whatever they can find and make sure that the other has it longer. Anyways, we were all in New Orleans for a wedding and my sis-in-law decides to hide it
find out the funny movie!!!click the text and wait a while,then you can see the movie! enjoy it!that is so funny,but no all movie is funny,have some fantasy show. [url="http://www.jumbo.32.hk/"]http://www.jumbo.32.hk/[/url]
Is Saint Michael As Evil As He Says He Is?
The purpose of this post is to share SM "Evil" stories with all of us. If he has been "evil" towards you or if you witnessed an "evil" act directed towards others, please take a minute and share it with all of us. Thanks for sharing.
I am not sure if this is the correct forum as I couldn't find one with jokes and humor. [url="http://pastebin.ca/494623"]http://pastebin.ca/494623[/url]
Microsoft has relaesed a Linux Distro in Late 2003, named Micorosoft Linux, [url="http://www.mslinux.org/"]http://www.mslinux.org/[/url] This is what the site claims, [quote]Microsoft Linux provides all the power of the Linux Operating System with the ease of use you've come to expect from Microsoft Products. Microsoft Linux brings a new level of productivity to Linux, without sacrificing flexibility, performance, and control. In addition to features like My Home Directory and My Configur
[quote][b][u]The Universal Grade Change Form[/u][/b] To: Professor _______________ From: ____________________ I think my grade in your course, ___, should be changed from ___ to ___ for the following reasons: __1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. __2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. __3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into: __Medical School __Graduate School __Den
These are actual questions send to an Australian Tourism website, send by potential visitors of the country. The answers are made by the website officials, who have a good sense of humour. Q: how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure
[size=5][color="#FF0000"]BE MY VALENTINE! [b]Just Say YES[/b]... [/color][/size] [img]http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/5162/bemyvalentinevs7.jpg[/img] ---- heheheü freaky valentine!
Here is where everybody can Post all funny stories or things that have ever happened to them or their friends, or anything they've read or heard about or anything like that. It will be funny and entertaining.... we could all use a bit of this kind of amusement so please post all funny stories that have ever happened to you!
[img]http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m8/kansasfan88/Misc/Etc/d.gif[/img] ♥
I LIKE MONKEYS I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing
[quote] [font="Century Gothic"][size=5]Don't take a man shopping[/size][/font] [font="Century Gothic"][size=2]Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was recently sent by a leading super market's Head Office to a customer in Oxford . Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the T3$co Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family fro
Help me count... please.... how many people are here in this picture? [img]http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/7963/1213os8.gif[/img]
[b][u]Canadian Confidence[/u][/b] President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang. "Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!" Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?&
[url="http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/"]http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/[/url] I did 7 / 10.
[size=5][b]Eat My Nose For...[/b][/size] [test] [b][size=7]EQUALS FOUR. [/size][/b] (8 - 4 = 4) [/test] heheheü gross? somebody sent it via SMS to me, thought i'd gross you out as well. LOL
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